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| Today is pop a blood vessel Wednesday.
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| Turn that smile upside down.
Sunday is going to be stressful. I hope to take it off. So I wont panic over if I can go to Brian's and pick my dad up from the airport.
I notice a lot more about people when I grow farther apart.
It's really not the same.
Bio exam.... I studied. I reviewed over the stuff. But I didnt study for cell bio. Didn't know it was on it. And got a 55... It's really depressing...
Im so used to failing that it's normal to me now ._.
The only time I improved was that one week when I was so stressed out. I did so bad with everything in english, and put the utmost effort into this one paper and finally got a B+. I need that B+ for Bio...
I was never a school person... The last time I studied was in 4th grade. I memorized text books. And ever since 5th grade, I studied all I could and got failing grades it just killed my hope. I stopped studying, and even got slightly better grades.
I stopped doing my homework in middle school. Because of Study. Homework in school, why not? Then it became a habit. And I never got to pull myself together and do my homework at home. They were always scribbled in before class began. Or I hoped that the teacher didnt collect it.
I never wanted to grow up after 6th grade...
It's been a while. It's been awhile since I was so depressed. It's been awhile since I cried because of it...
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| Waking up early to study? Not working.
I can NEVER bring myself to study. Ever.
I honestly don't know why I go to college...
My right ear piercing isnt complete. Still. It still bleeds occasionally...
I plan to get two more on my left ear. And leave it at that.
I love lab enough to learn everything I should have in lecture, in just 2 hours. And eventually get it. And thanks to my lab partner. He helps out A LOT with what I dont understand.
My room goes up to like 90 degrees. It gets really hot...
My web cam just came in the mail. My Christmas list is 1/5 done... Kinda sad... Only because my dad's GPS wont go through! I hate paypal >[
I think I might buy my mom's camera at the store instead of online... I cant find anything less than 150 ._.
I dont know what to get Babe and Babycakes D;!
Im still down at 0 for my savings to Taiwan...
And I still want to go snowboarding... That's like. 300-400 dollars.
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| All week I thought about where I am.
I am on a boat. A big boat really. And the people who's on the boat with me? There's no one here.
I gave thought upon thought upon thought. And I just tried to cheer myself up. It worked a little. For a few seconds, and then it dies.
I know what the problem is, but I cant do anything.
I can only wait on that boat and see where it ends up. Maybe it'll stop by an island and pick some people up, or it'll just sail forever.
I gave up really.
I gave up like a did some months ago.
Made smoothies today. It was okay.
Now I have english to day. 3-4 pages. The 2 pages are gonna be done tomorrow morning. And the 1 about my progress, im going to do about now.
Stressing myself out over nothing. I've gone back to watching dramas.
I've stayed up for no reason. I could have gone to bed hours ago, but I decide not to and just waste my time bumming around.
Sailing sailing...
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| Im bloated. And i've been eating non stop. It's been a depressing week. And when Im depressed, I always tend to try to work out... Until I sweat until I cant take it anymore. So I watched SS501's MV video collection thing. It's cute. Kim HyunJoong is a cutie. I really gotta finish watching Boys Before Flowers. I left off on Episode 11. And then stopped ._. Gotta go back to watching Dramas too. I need a good cry. I want to go home and sleep. Chinese, Bio, Nutrition, Work, Home, Bum. Schedule for the day. How exciting. 100 Days in 2 days. Then Brian's dim sum breakfast on the 13th or something. I forgot what day. Sunday. Then Andy's maybe on the 23rd. Schedule of the month! college Drop out. Life, im not ready for you. Im not ready for anything. | | |
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